He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
