we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
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