she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
