so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
