I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
