We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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