I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
