Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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