Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
