Pappa wants mamma naked
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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