I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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