you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize