Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize