so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
