dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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