Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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