so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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