Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I would ride that face into the sunset
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
