I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
