i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I understand Curling. That high.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
