If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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