update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
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He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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