Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
