Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
