Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There r osticjed everywhere
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
