Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
