i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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