I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize