You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
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I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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