He kissed a someone with a penis
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
