He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
