I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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