I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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