I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
