Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
