Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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