The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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