I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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