she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
