yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
