I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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