Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
