There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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