just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
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The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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