The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
