Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Welp...herpes.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
