She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
