Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
