Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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