Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
