Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
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Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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