He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
