There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
